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November 11, 2005
Ian Urbina's Life's Little Annoyances
Posted by Stowe Boyd
Richard Rohrer of Henry Holt sent me a (yes, it was free) copy of Ian Urbina's hilarious compilation of passive aggressive revenge: Life's Little Annoyances. I read some of the pieces to my wife the other night and we were gasping for breath -- we were laughing that hard.
My favorite piece is about John Kador, who tired of rejection letters, and wrote his own rejection rejection letter, which reads like the best Marx Brothers:
Dear ___________,
Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.
I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well-qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.
Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time. As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month.
Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on files in case my requirements for rejection change.
Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in refusing future candidates.
Sincerely,
John Kador
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